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vacantsmile
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Name: Nora
Birthday: 10/16/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: art, music, playing my guitar and writing songs, philosophy and psychology, interacting with people,
Expertise: you mean i'm supposed to be good at something?
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/21/2006
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| soooo its 11:30 and i have yet to touch my homework, why you ask? because devin inspired me to write a one act...in one night...i hope to god its the right length as ive yet to clock it. It is about space cowboys, it is brilliant, i hop mrs sherry likes it *crosses fingers* anyway, homework now then bed *wanders off* | | |
| ya, so, its been almost a year since i posted anything here...guess i just got to the point where everything i said was so negative i felt guilty draggin anyone else down into it. but, that time has passed! sure, life ain't a bed of roses, but is it ever? well, enough reminiscing, i suppose ill just jump back into the telling of my day to day existence. weekend was nice, not a ton happened, but it was nice to be able to take a break for a bit. I did end up having to help my mother pack up though (we're going to be moving out of our house soon so we can remodel it) and i got my hair dyed (yes, AGAIN) which took three and half hours >< gah, bleach to strip, redye, cut, straighten, cut some more and style, then i went to the play which was quite good, i loved the scene where frosso takes a bite of the cupcake then tries to stick it back on *laughs* god, i was laughing so hard. I also loved seeing frosso afterwards, shes always seemed a bit aloof to me, till i talk to her that is and she was really nice, i got hugs ^^. Then today we cleaned out the greenhouse in envi sci which was fun (yes we actually DO have one) and then the unthinkable happened...i lost my $240 prada sunglasses *cries* so if you see them, or have them or kno someone who has them please please please get them back to me. Then free last and i went and had coffee with nina which was nice....'cept for her taking a video of me eating in the most icky way i could *glares* and i guess thats all i have to report now. sooo i think i will be updating this more frequently now, yay! | | |
| I hear myself talking...what am I saying, is it a cry for help or a primal scream? I say things, but I don't know if I mean them- I think I do, there is always a spark of truth, but how far does it actually extend? I can never tell. When I do things, I do them all the way, no half assing. This means that I lie to myself sometimes though...often times. I spent so much time worrying about what was REAL- months wasted away yet my prize eluded me, till one day I realized: its all fake anyway, everything is in my head, I can't get out-folly. I wish I could put it behind me...and I know I could (the human brain is amazing, with a fully realized and desired thought or wish for change or transformation, a pivoting of view, at the drop of a hat it can be created) however this wish, this desire to just live without care: to wrench myself from a search for truth, contentment- it is not fully realized, there is a part in my heart that longs to KNOW something, to know that it is true, that it is real, that it will not change or pass with time. I want it, but I cant have it, I cant seem to let myself-conflict, always internal, always raging.
I wrote a song the other day, it was about you- I meant it at the time...I think, but I really don't know if I meant it even then, let alone now- could be true though, or at least true enough to have its place in the world:
"untitled"
you stole my hope
but you set me free
now I'm on my own
it's just me and me
you stole my dreams
but I'll make new ones
that'll take me to
places far and new
you stole my life
but left room for change
and ill take that chance
I won't let it get away
you stole my heart
but now I can breathe
and I'm sure someday
it'll come back to me
(chorus)
until that day
keep my heart inside your own
let the light
in just so you both will know
that things will change someday
someday, someday
you may have stolen
everything I hold dear
but you gave me back
a strength I could never have found
maybe this will help you, maybe it won't, maybe someday you'll hear it, or not- what do i know anymore anyway | | |
| why is everything so fucking confusing and complicated all the time...i feel like ive been thrust into too deep water- stuck, waiting to see if ill swim...or drown. could you let me know? the anxiety is killing me... | | |
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